Artistic Inspiration

If you asked my friends what I "am", among other things you would hear the terms "artist" or "artistic" used at least a couple times. But, I have a confession to make.

I AM A FRAUD!!!!

Yes, I love art. I love painting and drawing and reading about/looking at other artists' works. And yes I majored in Studio Art. And yes I have drawers and drawers full of artistic supplies and boxes upon boxes of possibly useful "what if" crap.

But the truth is, besides the cast I painted last year (they wouldn't give me the fun colors, so I had to spice up the boring white cast on my own) I have not completed a work of art since my last assignment in school. I don't really "doodle". You know those people that you just know are artists, cuz they're always carrying around a note book and when you look through it your jaw drops open because of all the cool sketches and half-finished ideas that make this book a work of art all by itself? I'm not like that. I've tried. It just doesn't work. In past art classes we've been assigned a notebook that would get checked at the beginning of each class. We were supposed to carry it with us at all times and jot down any ideas we had or sketch our surroundings when we were bored or lacking inspiration. And I found myself hurriedly sketching 5 random objects on my way to class each time in order to have something to turn in. I don't know if the objects around me don't inspire me enough, or if I'm just too darn lazy to pick up a pencil or paintbrush and do something about it when I am inspired. It's probably a bit of both. It seems that most of the time when I really am hit with an idea, it's when I'm driving down the road, or somehow otherwise unable to jot down my thoughts.

I have a couple small sketches of ideas lying around my place. And one unfinished painting that I haven't touched since the first layer I put down over a year ago. I kept it up on my easel for months and months. Meant to either inspire or shame me into getting back to it. Then I took down the easel to make way for my Christmas tree, which has yet to come down. And now I'm not sure whether I should put my art stuff back there when I do finally take it down. I've even taken requests from friends, hoping that the sense of an "assignment" might spur me into action. But so far? Nothing.

Another contributing factor is a slight lack of funds. I'm not sure exactly what the idea of a starving artist puts into people's minds. (Whether they think all the person's $$ went into art supplies and that's why they're starving, or if they were broke in the first place and art supplies just aren't that expensive, and therefore the only thing the person can afford.) But I'll tell you truth. Art supplies are EXPENSIVE. Yeah, I guess I could be some sort of sculptor that uses found objects. I've considered that idea before (hence the boxes of junk lying around my place). Or I could glean the dye from Skittles and M&Ms and mix it with toothpaste in order to create my own pigments (some guy in prison in the book I'm reading currently does that). But really, that Skittle idea just sounds like waaaaaay too much work, and in order to have enough pigment, I'd probly have to cough up just as much $$ for candy as I would on a paint set anyway. And the materials and work space needed to put all that found junk together into a sculpture is also just as expensive.

All of that to say, I only have so much paint, and so many canvases, and I am TERRIFIED of the idea that I'll start a project, hate it, and have wasted all those materials in the end. But I'm also a pack-rat that is inevitably wondering "what if" and I would be completely incapable of just gessoing over a "bad" piece for fear that I'd later think of the perfect way to fix it, or decide that I did, in fact, like it.

So, with all of that out there, I am now going to add to my list of personal improvements I want to make this year. As Joey said in the ever-brilliant-and-relevant 90's hit Friends, "Those special skills I have listed on my resume? I would love if one of those was true." Not the exact same situation, but I sure would like to actually feel like an artist when my friends next describe me that way.

And thanks to Groupon, I took the first step in that direction today with a coupon for $50 worth of stuff at Binders Art Supplies. I went and got 7 new canvases. The thinking there is that the more canvases I have, the more OK it will be to start a painting- and possibly screw up- on one of them. I won't feel like anything I put down on precious canvas will have to be a masterpiece. I also got a new brush set complete with rolling carrier bag, and a closing palette/storage container for my paints. These are going to be part of the supplies that I'm taking up to my boyfriend's place, with the hope that by having supplies at hand in both locations, I'll be reminded/inspired more often to work.

In addition to getting supplies, I did a little looking around online to see about ways to overcome artistic block. I was also looking for at-home assignments I could give myself in order to get past my inability to just doodle and inspire myself. I ended up at a great site that I think is really going to help me out. I've run across About.com in previous searches, but never really paid it any mind or stopped to really find out what it was, but the About.com:Painting site is really really great! Not only are there forums for everything under the sun related to painting, including tons of suggestions for overcoming artistic block, but there is a project page where a separate project is assigned every month! There are tutorial videos and people that will critique pieces that you submit. I'm super excited about sitting down for a few hours this weekend and just sorting through all the great resources!

I will admit that I'm hesitant to put too many parameters around this new resolution. I have so many other things on my plate, and I don't want to take on so much that I can't live up to any of my new goals. So right now I'm going to start with VERY TINY steps and set myself a goal of completing 2 pieces this year. I know it doesn't seem like much, but since that one piece has been sitting untouched for over a year now, it would definitely be an improvement. I might actually try some of these online projects and submit my final pieces. Or I might just look through the submissions and get inspired there. We'll see. And if I hit the 2 piece mark sooner than I thought possible, hopefully I'll keep right on going!

I'll be sure to upload pictures of any progress I make in coming months!

Great Article

I know I have like a week to catch up on, but for now I just wanted to post a great article I got from one of my friends. It relates directly to the main purpose of my blog- the transition into adulthood- and so I thought it was fitting. Enjoy!

http://tomatonation.com/?p=838

Day 10- Small Accomplishments

Wow have I been busy this week! Back to work on Tuesday with a more-than-normal workload to cram into a shorter- than-normal work week. But there's just one more day and I'm hanging in there. I saw 2012 with my boyfriend on Tuesday after my workout, and really enjoyed that. Another movie with great visual effects. Had small group last night and per usual didn't get out until 10 after chatting away.

My workouts are going well. Kenpo X on Tuesday kicked my butt! I never knew martial arts were such a cardio workout! I had to press pause several times in order to catch my breathe, mop my brow and grab some water! But I definitely knew I was going to benefit from that afternoon! I'm still feeling the burn in my calves and triceps. Yesterday was my rest day, and this evening starts Week 2 back with Core Synergistics (eek!) I'm hoping I'll be able to make it through a few more of the push up moves this time around!

I also finally got the workouts to the girls in my small group. Sounds like 3 or 4 of them are going to be joining in the fun! I've already heard from 2 of them that did today's workout together this morning. It's so nice to have people in your life following such a tough program right along with you. They're exactly a week behind me, so for the most part we'll still be doing the same workouts on the same days. We're already joking around and looking forward to the "beachbody"s that we're going to have in a few months!

Heading out of town tomorrow after work for a birthday celebration for my boyfriend's grandfather. Should be lots of fun, but I'm not sure what kind of workout opportunities I'll have. So I'm planning on getting up super early tomorrow AM in order to get in Cardio X before work. I'll try to get in a run on Saturday somehow since I'm missing the 10K group, and then hopefully I'll be back in town on Sunday early enough to pop in Yoga X.

I'm also not sure how closely I'll be able to follow my meal plan while I'm on retreat with the whole fam, so I'm just planning on making the healthiest choices available to me, and doing the best I can. I'm staying away from the all-or-nothing approach I've taken in previous attempts where I've given up on the whole program as soon a I slip up one tiny time. I'm focusing instead on doing the best I can and making as many little accomplishments along the way as I can. For example- I said "no thank you" to popcorn during Tuesday's movie. Last night's snack at small group was cupcakes. I didn't have one! And at today's staff meeting our boss provided various flavored popcorn. And once again, I didn't have any! So I'm holding tight to these little steps and hoping they snowball eventually!

A friend showed me a really inspiring article today and I just cannot wait until I start seeing results in my own life! I'm determined to see this through. A group at my work is also focusing on Health and Wellness and they've asked me to give an informal testimony during our next staff meeting about a bootcamp I went through a while back, so I'm sure I'll be talking about the programs I'm in now as well. Who knows-- maybe I can inspire some of them to step it up with their goals too!

Blech!

The yogurt I'm allowed currently is only Non-fat Plain. Which is not the same as vanilla. And it does NOT taste good. I'm trying to mix in my strawberries to make it more palatable but it's not really working. I'll finish it this morning, but not sure it's going to make it into any more meals until I hit the next phase in the nutrition meal (I'm allowed fruit flavors then.)

Day 7- Ready, Set, Don't Eat

So here I am just a few hours from the end of Day 2 of the fast. It hasn't been too bad. 3 chocolate meal replacement drinks a day, with a couple glasses of water in between. I mostly just had to stay busy in order to keep my mind off food. I have a bad habit of eating when I get bored. So I hung out with my boyfriend. We ran to Tanger to exchange some Christmas gifts and watched some movies and played with the kitties. Today I went to see the Blind Side with my friend. (Good movie. But then again I am a sucker for football flicks.) I tidied up my apartment, and my biggest accomplishment of the weekend:

I started prepping my meals for the coming week! :)

Anything that isn't easy to measure out a serving (as in takes 30 seconds or less) I measured out and packaged into single serving portions. So I chopped up my cheese blocks into 1oz portions. I measured out my grapes and sliced up my strawberries and watermelon and measured those out in to 1 cup portions. I opened up my deli ham and wrapped that up into 3oz servings. I cubed and cooked up a package of boneless chicken breasts and measured that also in 3oz servings. I even went as far as to measure out a couple 3tbsp portions of ketchup (I gotta have my ketchup!)

Then I planned tomorrow's meals. Since they suggest you eat 5-6 smaller meals throughout the day, and I have to get in 5 servings of protein a day according to my meal plan, I just planned 5 meals, each with a protein. Until I go back to the store and get a few more items I either forgot or couldn't find last time, some items are going to get a little repetitive, but it shouldn't be too bad. Tomorrow's schedule:

Meal 1- Yogurt, Strawberries, Ham
Meal 2- Chicken, V8 drink
Meal 3- Chicken, Peas, English Muffin
Meal 4- Ham, Mini Rice Cakes
Meal 5- Egg-white Omelet with Low-fat Cheese, English Muffin

I'm pretty excited about this. Hoping I can keep it up. Plus, it was another good way to keep my mind off of eating. You'd think prepping all this food would make me hungrier, but somehow that wasn't the case.

Anyways, it's time for my last meal replacement drink of the weekend :) Think I'm gonna pop in a movie and then call it a night.