Artistic Inspiration

If you asked my friends what I "am", among other things you would hear the terms "artist" or "artistic" used at least a couple times. But, I have a confession to make.

I AM A FRAUD!!!!

Yes, I love art. I love painting and drawing and reading about/looking at other artists' works. And yes I majored in Studio Art. And yes I have drawers and drawers full of artistic supplies and boxes upon boxes of possibly useful "what if" crap.

But the truth is, besides the cast I painted last year (they wouldn't give me the fun colors, so I had to spice up the boring white cast on my own) I have not completed a work of art since my last assignment in school. I don't really "doodle". You know those people that you just know are artists, cuz they're always carrying around a note book and when you look through it your jaw drops open because of all the cool sketches and half-finished ideas that make this book a work of art all by itself? I'm not like that. I've tried. It just doesn't work. In past art classes we've been assigned a notebook that would get checked at the beginning of each class. We were supposed to carry it with us at all times and jot down any ideas we had or sketch our surroundings when we were bored or lacking inspiration. And I found myself hurriedly sketching 5 random objects on my way to class each time in order to have something to turn in. I don't know if the objects around me don't inspire me enough, or if I'm just too darn lazy to pick up a pencil or paintbrush and do something about it when I am inspired. It's probably a bit of both. It seems that most of the time when I really am hit with an idea, it's when I'm driving down the road, or somehow otherwise unable to jot down my thoughts.

I have a couple small sketches of ideas lying around my place. And one unfinished painting that I haven't touched since the first layer I put down over a year ago. I kept it up on my easel for months and months. Meant to either inspire or shame me into getting back to it. Then I took down the easel to make way for my Christmas tree, which has yet to come down. And now I'm not sure whether I should put my art stuff back there when I do finally take it down. I've even taken requests from friends, hoping that the sense of an "assignment" might spur me into action. But so far? Nothing.

Another contributing factor is a slight lack of funds. I'm not sure exactly what the idea of a starving artist puts into people's minds. (Whether they think all the person's $$ went into art supplies and that's why they're starving, or if they were broke in the first place and art supplies just aren't that expensive, and therefore the only thing the person can afford.) But I'll tell you truth. Art supplies are EXPENSIVE. Yeah, I guess I could be some sort of sculptor that uses found objects. I've considered that idea before (hence the boxes of junk lying around my place). Or I could glean the dye from Skittles and M&Ms and mix it with toothpaste in order to create my own pigments (some guy in prison in the book I'm reading currently does that). But really, that Skittle idea just sounds like waaaaaay too much work, and in order to have enough pigment, I'd probly have to cough up just as much $$ for candy as I would on a paint set anyway. And the materials and work space needed to put all that found junk together into a sculpture is also just as expensive.

All of that to say, I only have so much paint, and so many canvases, and I am TERRIFIED of the idea that I'll start a project, hate it, and have wasted all those materials in the end. But I'm also a pack-rat that is inevitably wondering "what if" and I would be completely incapable of just gessoing over a "bad" piece for fear that I'd later think of the perfect way to fix it, or decide that I did, in fact, like it.

So, with all of that out there, I am now going to add to my list of personal improvements I want to make this year. As Joey said in the ever-brilliant-and-relevant 90's hit Friends, "Those special skills I have listed on my resume? I would love if one of those was true." Not the exact same situation, but I sure would like to actually feel like an artist when my friends next describe me that way.

And thanks to Groupon, I took the first step in that direction today with a coupon for $50 worth of stuff at Binders Art Supplies. I went and got 7 new canvases. The thinking there is that the more canvases I have, the more OK it will be to start a painting- and possibly screw up- on one of them. I won't feel like anything I put down on precious canvas will have to be a masterpiece. I also got a new brush set complete with rolling carrier bag, and a closing palette/storage container for my paints. These are going to be part of the supplies that I'm taking up to my boyfriend's place, with the hope that by having supplies at hand in both locations, I'll be reminded/inspired more often to work.

In addition to getting supplies, I did a little looking around online to see about ways to overcome artistic block. I was also looking for at-home assignments I could give myself in order to get past my inability to just doodle and inspire myself. I ended up at a great site that I think is really going to help me out. I've run across About.com in previous searches, but never really paid it any mind or stopped to really find out what it was, but the About.com:Painting site is really really great! Not only are there forums for everything under the sun related to painting, including tons of suggestions for overcoming artistic block, but there is a project page where a separate project is assigned every month! There are tutorial videos and people that will critique pieces that you submit. I'm super excited about sitting down for a few hours this weekend and just sorting through all the great resources!

I will admit that I'm hesitant to put too many parameters around this new resolution. I have so many other things on my plate, and I don't want to take on so much that I can't live up to any of my new goals. So right now I'm going to start with VERY TINY steps and set myself a goal of completing 2 pieces this year. I know it doesn't seem like much, but since that one piece has been sitting untouched for over a year now, it would definitely be an improvement. I might actually try some of these online projects and submit my final pieces. Or I might just look through the submissions and get inspired there. We'll see. And if I hit the 2 piece mark sooner than I thought possible, hopefully I'll keep right on going!

I'll be sure to upload pictures of any progress I make in coming months!

Day 2- The Beginning of a New Beginning

I mentioned in my last post that there are several areas I plan on improving this year. Here's the short list:

• improve my personal fitness through both diet and exercise
  
• redefine my budget and take control of my finances
• make my rounds at the doctors' offices (for the first time since I've had health insurance)
• improve my church attendance and research volunteer opportunities
• clean out my closet of both clothes and other assorted junk

For now, I'm focusing on that first bullet point. I'm proud to say that I have already taken several steps that will help ensure an active lifestyle for at least the next 3 months, if not longer.

Tomorrow I will be starting P90X Lean. For those of you that don't know what I'm talking about, this is a 90-day program that focuses on all of the basics- cardio, strength training, nutrition, etc- and is based on the theory of muscle confusion. (You can learn more here http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/P90x and here http://www.p90x.com) The "Lean" part of it just means that I'm doing a version of the program that focuses more on losing weight and toning up than it does on bulking up. I'll be doing 1 hour workouts 6 days a week with the 7th day being either for rest or the stretching routine.

The variation that comes with the muscle confusion approach is one reason I'm so excited about this program. I think it will really help keep me interested/motivated. I can say with certainty that one of the reasons I've dropped out of other workout programs is the repetitiveness. When I get to a point that I know a workout routine really well, it gets dangerous for 2 reasons. First of all, I get bored. This is never a good thing. Secondly, I start to dread what I know is coming next. Not necessarily because it's a hard move, but just because I know I stiiiiillll have x minutes left before I'm done. I personally need to keep things fresh. Some people thrive when they know exactly what they're doing. And there's probably something to be said for being able to pace yourself when that's the case. But I need to keep things upbeat and exciting and new. When I feel myself starting to get comfortable with a routine and settling into it, that's the beginning of the end for me. With this program, each routine only gets recycled every 7 days. And even that only lasts 3 weeks before it gets switched up again.

I originally chose to start tomorrow because 2 girls in my church small group were going to be doing it with me and they were getting their copies today, but it turns out they won't have theirs for a little while longer. I have decided to go ahead and start anyways and hopefully they'll be able to start soon and only be about a week behind. The more I look at the workout schedule though, the more I think starting on a Thursday is going to work out better than I planned (as opposed to starting at the beginning of the week as I probably would have done if I hadn't been trying to coordinate with others). By starting on a Thursday, it means that my long workouts (some sort of strength training paired with the ab routine) is going to fall on Saturdays when I have plenty of time. Yoga will be on Sundays, which seems like a good way to unwind and prepare for the coming week. And Wednesdays will be my rest/stretching day which is when I have small group after work and am normally pressed for time.

So tonight after small group I'll be taking my official "Before" pictures and all my body measurements and recording them in my worksheets. I've ordered a few supplements to help with the workouts: a protein recovery shake to be taken within 60 minutes of each day's workout, a meal replacement drink to be used as part of a 2-day fast to help jump-start my diet, and a 2-part supplement program that's meant to help me burn more fat during my workouts.

Team Beachbody (the parent company that P90X is sold under, along with all sorts of other workout programs and equipment) also has a huge online support network that I've linked into. You build a profile, post your before and after shots, log your workouts and progress, etc. Anytime you get online there are guaranteed to be other people online working out at the same time as you. You can schedule workouts together and touch base afterward to help motivate each other. It's just one more way I've found to hold myself accountable. I've already made some connections that have led to great advice and resources, and I've scheduled my first month's worth of workouts!

In addition to P90X I've signed up for a 12-week 10K training program (http://www.active.com/running/atlanta-ga/atlanta-10k-training-program-2010). I made a New Year's resolution to run 1 5K a month in 2010 and asked one of my good friends to join me in this and she suggested we sign up for this program in lieu of Jan-March runs. As I would be running more for less than it would cost to sign up for 3 5Ks this sounded like a good plan for me. So starting this Saturday I'll be getting up for an 8am run every Saturday until March 27th. It also sounds like we will have "homework" runs to do during the week. Between these runs and my P90X workouts, I'm thinking that some days I'm not going to have any time to sit on the couch! Which is a good thing!

I get paid on Friday, which means I'm going shopping after work then! First of all I need more groceries. Time for my pantry makeover. I was going to do that earlier this week, but ran out of time and funds. And as I'll only be on the the second day of P90X at that point, I won't have done much harm before then. I'm sure I have SOMEthing healthy at home to get me by until then. The other thing I have to go get is some cold weather running gear. I normally just wear guy's running shorts and some sort of tank top, but I don't think that's going to cut it in the current temperatures! So I'll be getting some dri-fit running tights, pants and long sleeve shirts. I also need a headband to cover up my ears and some running gloves. And a running jacket if I can afford that after everything else.

So that's what I've got coming up! I've got a few other things already in the works for farther out, but more on that later. As for deadlines, my family has a trip to St. Thomas planned for early June. So I have approximately 6 months to get in shape to where I feel comfortable once again in a bathing suit. If I get really motivated, that almost gives me time to do the P90X program 2 times through!

I can't wait to update yall on my progress with both these programs! Wish me luck!

Day 1- A Reader's Guide

To begin with, I need to clarify a few things. Set some parameters, if you will:

1. This blog is for me. Any readers and/or regular followers are appreciated. But I have no intention of trying to please any particular individual or group of people. I welcome any comments, and will more than likely respond to many of them, but debate is not a strength of mine, nor what I consider an enjoyable past time. If I offend anyone, I apologize ahead of time, as it was certainly not my goal. I'm just trying to get my thoughts out.

2. Regarding those thoughts of mine- I ramble. Ask any of my friends or family members. I'm famous for my 5-minute-long voice messages. I guess I just feel the need to cover all my bases before actually getting to the point. I've tried to curb that habit. It hasn't worked. I can almost guarantee that every posting of mine will begin as a short idea I just wanted to throw out there, and by the time I'm done will be a full-on short story covering everything from why I didn't have time for breakfast that day to my brother's girlfriend's theory on whether the moon landing was for real or not. Some days I'll probably be boring as hell. Others, not so much.

3. All that being said- I guess I should explain the few reasons I have for starting this blog in the first place. So now we come to the second set of bullet points. (In addition to rambling, I love being organized. I don't always succeed. But whatever. How those 2 go hand-in-hand, I'm not sure.)

• I've never been able to keep a diary. I can definitely see all the benefits in keeping them. I think part of the reason I've failed in the past is that since I ramble, my diary entries always tend to be pages and pages long. And my hand ends up hurting, so I give up after 1 day. I'm a much faster typist than writer, so we'll see if this helps. I know web pages and blog entries aren't exactly as mysterious or romantic as dusty old journals, but it's a start. (And yes- I do daydream of my great-grand-children one day running across my diaries and ooh-ing and ah-ing over all my adventures, or trying to solve some murder with them, and I do count that as one of the advantages of keeping a diary.) I'm challenging myself to keep this up for a year. Hence the "A Year in the Life of" part of my blog title. If it goes past that, I'll probably change the name.
• Like pretty much everyone else, there are several things about myself I would like to change or improve upon. I don't think I'm some awful human being or anything. I think I'm actually a very nice, sometimes funny, generally intelligent person and have no desire to change anything about my innate character. But there are somethings like changing my eating/exercise habits for the better, improving my budget, etc. that I should be better about by now, that I'm not. And I've come to the conclusion that the combination of all of these personal shortcomings might be part of the reason that I feel I'm failing at "being an adult." Granted, this is just a theory. I don't think any of my other early-to-late 20-something friends feel that they're really succeeding at that particular task either. And I'm sure they'd each have different theories as to why that is. I'd be curious to see the results of a nation-wide (heck- why not global?) survey asking people aged __ and up (when do you start? 16? 18? 21? 30?) when/if they ever truly started feeling like an adult. I'm sure there are plenty of people out there married with children that are still of the mind set "I'm not an adult. I'm not responsible or successful and I sure as heck don't know how I ended up where I am right now. How the hell do they expect me to raise a child properly!?" Anyways, this will be a place for me to document my goals for this year, as well as my successes/failures at each of those. And at the end of the year, we'll see if I've come any closer to being a responsible adult than I am now. And that should explain the last half of the title.
• Beyond those 2 overriding reasons, this is just something for me to do. A new hobby. I Facebook and Twitter on a start/stop basis. I Stumble and play computer games. I occasionally get inspired on an artistic level and break out the watercolors or oil paints or colored pencils. I also watch tv, read books, and nap a lot. You'll see when I lay out my goals for the coming months that hopefully very soon my life will be much less sedentary than that. But as my pirated cable recently got switched off, this will give me one more thing to choose from when I do find myself sitting at home.

4. And lastly, in case you haven't figured this out yet, I have no lofty overriding goal for my posts other than what I've already mentioned above. I have no political, religious or social agenda or message I'm pushing. I have no doubt those issues will pop up from time to time, but as those are the things that generally lead to heated discussions that I really have no interest in (see #1) I'll probably stay away from that for the most part.

So I guess that's about it. Now you know the what and the why. I doubt this will be a daily thing, but when I'm back next I'll give you more on the who (i.e.- a little more about me) and the when and the how (this will mostly be regarding the goals I've set for myself and trying to come up with a realistic timeline for them.) For personal and safety reasons, I'll probably keep the where a secret. But if you're cool enough to actually know me then you already have the where :P Consider yourself special.


Until then...