Artistic Inspiration

If you asked my friends what I "am", among other things you would hear the terms "artist" or "artistic" used at least a couple times. But, I have a confession to make.

I AM A FRAUD!!!!

Yes, I love art. I love painting and drawing and reading about/looking at other artists' works. And yes I majored in Studio Art. And yes I have drawers and drawers full of artistic supplies and boxes upon boxes of possibly useful "what if" crap.

But the truth is, besides the cast I painted last year (they wouldn't give me the fun colors, so I had to spice up the boring white cast on my own) I have not completed a work of art since my last assignment in school. I don't really "doodle". You know those people that you just know are artists, cuz they're always carrying around a note book and when you look through it your jaw drops open because of all the cool sketches and half-finished ideas that make this book a work of art all by itself? I'm not like that. I've tried. It just doesn't work. In past art classes we've been assigned a notebook that would get checked at the beginning of each class. We were supposed to carry it with us at all times and jot down any ideas we had or sketch our surroundings when we were bored or lacking inspiration. And I found myself hurriedly sketching 5 random objects on my way to class each time in order to have something to turn in. I don't know if the objects around me don't inspire me enough, or if I'm just too darn lazy to pick up a pencil or paintbrush and do something about it when I am inspired. It's probably a bit of both. It seems that most of the time when I really am hit with an idea, it's when I'm driving down the road, or somehow otherwise unable to jot down my thoughts.

I have a couple small sketches of ideas lying around my place. And one unfinished painting that I haven't touched since the first layer I put down over a year ago. I kept it up on my easel for months and months. Meant to either inspire or shame me into getting back to it. Then I took down the easel to make way for my Christmas tree, which has yet to come down. And now I'm not sure whether I should put my art stuff back there when I do finally take it down. I've even taken requests from friends, hoping that the sense of an "assignment" might spur me into action. But so far? Nothing.

Another contributing factor is a slight lack of funds. I'm not sure exactly what the idea of a starving artist puts into people's minds. (Whether they think all the person's $$ went into art supplies and that's why they're starving, or if they were broke in the first place and art supplies just aren't that expensive, and therefore the only thing the person can afford.) But I'll tell you truth. Art supplies are EXPENSIVE. Yeah, I guess I could be some sort of sculptor that uses found objects. I've considered that idea before (hence the boxes of junk lying around my place). Or I could glean the dye from Skittles and M&Ms and mix it with toothpaste in order to create my own pigments (some guy in prison in the book I'm reading currently does that). But really, that Skittle idea just sounds like waaaaaay too much work, and in order to have enough pigment, I'd probly have to cough up just as much $$ for candy as I would on a paint set anyway. And the materials and work space needed to put all that found junk together into a sculpture is also just as expensive.

All of that to say, I only have so much paint, and so many canvases, and I am TERRIFIED of the idea that I'll start a project, hate it, and have wasted all those materials in the end. But I'm also a pack-rat that is inevitably wondering "what if" and I would be completely incapable of just gessoing over a "bad" piece for fear that I'd later think of the perfect way to fix it, or decide that I did, in fact, like it.

So, with all of that out there, I am now going to add to my list of personal improvements I want to make this year. As Joey said in the ever-brilliant-and-relevant 90's hit Friends, "Those special skills I have listed on my resume? I would love if one of those was true." Not the exact same situation, but I sure would like to actually feel like an artist when my friends next describe me that way.

And thanks to Groupon, I took the first step in that direction today with a coupon for $50 worth of stuff at Binders Art Supplies. I went and got 7 new canvases. The thinking there is that the more canvases I have, the more OK it will be to start a painting- and possibly screw up- on one of them. I won't feel like anything I put down on precious canvas will have to be a masterpiece. I also got a new brush set complete with rolling carrier bag, and a closing palette/storage container for my paints. These are going to be part of the supplies that I'm taking up to my boyfriend's place, with the hope that by having supplies at hand in both locations, I'll be reminded/inspired more often to work.

In addition to getting supplies, I did a little looking around online to see about ways to overcome artistic block. I was also looking for at-home assignments I could give myself in order to get past my inability to just doodle and inspire myself. I ended up at a great site that I think is really going to help me out. I've run across About.com in previous searches, but never really paid it any mind or stopped to really find out what it was, but the About.com:Painting site is really really great! Not only are there forums for everything under the sun related to painting, including tons of suggestions for overcoming artistic block, but there is a project page where a separate project is assigned every month! There are tutorial videos and people that will critique pieces that you submit. I'm super excited about sitting down for a few hours this weekend and just sorting through all the great resources!

I will admit that I'm hesitant to put too many parameters around this new resolution. I have so many other things on my plate, and I don't want to take on so much that I can't live up to any of my new goals. So right now I'm going to start with VERY TINY steps and set myself a goal of completing 2 pieces this year. I know it doesn't seem like much, but since that one piece has been sitting untouched for over a year now, it would definitely be an improvement. I might actually try some of these online projects and submit my final pieces. Or I might just look through the submissions and get inspired there. We'll see. And if I hit the 2 piece mark sooner than I thought possible, hopefully I'll keep right on going!

I'll be sure to upload pictures of any progress I make in coming months!